An angry song...

About wanting to kick the person you love the most in the face because you're too fucking egotistical and blame everyone else for your wrongdoings.



The yellow bile
Masked in a smile
The angry plague
Suppressed by grace

'Cause
I know better than to give myself away and
I know better than to give into the crave and
I know better than to watch you go astray and
I know better than to let you fade away

The dark black vile
Wretched and vile
I'd gladly pay
To see the day

When it
Takes over your soul and dissolves your will to stay and
Wraps 'round your body as the skin begins to break, but
I know better than to watch you go astray and
I know better than to let you fade away

The choler thirsts
For anything
To feed the hurt
The violence
Just to taste
The bitter marrow
From your breaking bones
So viciously

The black and blue
Looks good on you
The sun-dried rusty red
Makes you look your very best

Wash out the pale
Beat in the hue
Throw out the gun
Blame it on you

But
These savage thoughts occupy the shadow's end and
Are purified by this courtesy I pretend that
I know better than to give myself away and
I know better than to give into the craving
I know better than to dig my holy grave and
I know better than to give myself away and
I know better than to give myself away..

I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap..

Not much has happened.. I've been working at Applebee's for a month and a half and having a blast... but they're shutting down on Sunday. I'm transfering over to the one on 103rd and State Line, I have an interviewy whatever shpeal tomorrow.

I'm supposed to be researaching narcissistic personality disorder but I'm way too tired. It's funny, the more I read about it the more I think I have it. But then again, that's like every disease/disorder/whatever you hear about. Hell, one of the symptoms for sickle cell in my Biology book was pain.

...

My arm's on fire! Fuck! I must have sickle cell?!?!