Changes...

...Wow have I become horribly depressed in the past two months. Or however long it's been since I last updated this.

Long story short, I feel like a hipocryte because this whole time I've been preaching about independance and you-don't-need-a-MAN relationships are lame I don't need anyone!...etc. And look at me. Look at me and why I'm such a fucking emo baby. I'm the one sitting in the corner about to cry because she can't find anyone to connect with.

I think I'm pretty much done with guys.

I wish I didn't feel so retarded for being human. That's all it wears down to, the cold bitter truth is that I am just like Joe Schmoe and I feel the same thingis as everyone else. It felt great being superhuman. Hah, sucks for you, you're all mopey 'cause the boy won't notice you. I'd rather not be noticed than be noticed and discarded like a fucking wrapper. Ouch. That hurt.

I've told myself over the years that I'm NOT a softie. I am thick skinned and it takes a lot to phase me. And it does take a lot to phase me. Is this considered a lot or am I losing my grip? Is it just because everything has been piling up on itself over the years and at some point my mental frame becomes weak and everything just collapses onto itself? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Plus the fact that everyone is OBSESSING over this stupid boy I had a small crush on last year. I don't even like him anymore. I never really found him super attractive and everyone is fantasizing about his supposedly gigantic shlong. I don't know or really care about his shlong or how hot he is(n't) and........LASKDJF.

My patience is really being tested lately.

This must be the heavens' way of saying "Fuck you, Katy, for being an idiot, never doing your Algebra homework, and for being a liberal."





On a lighter note, I got a job. Hostessing at Applebees. Orientation tomorrow at 3. Wish me luck.